Pineapple and kassler - a match made in heaven

Kassler is always a winner with our family. And when it is paired up with pineapple, it’s a match made in heaven. And that’s what we had for dinner last night. It’s also what we had for Christmas lunch the other day.

The Boys always have Christmas lunch with me and then go off to see their father for Boxing Day. Now that they are grown up, I need to be democratic with apportioning the work involved in planning and preparing the lunch. Last Christmas we had turkey cooked in the Weber. The boys cooked the turkey and I saw to everything else. This year was the turn of the Christmas Ham. But instead of doing the whole part-pig with glaze and pineapple and cherries precariously pinned to it, we decided to braai kassler ribs and pineapple. But, being Christmas I had to find extraordinary kassler, not just the little fillets available off the shelf at the supermarkets.

In Durban we have a marvellous butchery called Mozzies. It’s a family run business I think, with a strong Continental (I almost wrote European. Funny how continental and European mean the same thing but one seems more pc than the other) flavour. They produce delectable smoked meats and sausages and their fresh meat is always well matured and well cut. I am sticking my neck out here, but I think the difference may be that they employ true blockmen with certificates, and other places employ people who have learned on the job and have varying degrees of competence with mediocrity being acceptable. The essence of what I am trying to say, is that at Mozzies, they care about the meat and the way it is prepared for the customer, whereas at supermarkets, the meat has to be cut, packaged and displayed in the fridges and if you like it cool, if not, tough tackie. Take it or leave it. I have even seen a parsley sticker stuck on the packaging somewhere recently.

I can’t buy all my meat at Mozzies because it is on the other side of Durban, but I have a local butchery called Hennies around the corner that makes the best boerewors ever. It is run by mostly women, with a couple of men who I think are only employed because they can carry half an ox over their shoulders. When I first found the place I thought it was called Hennies because it was run by a bunch of hens. Not so. The current owner is the previous owner’s widow, and his name was Hennie. Hennies is in a little corner shopping centre in our old vintage suburb and it is also very little. It’s about the size of a small school classroom and is divided into two with the front space being for customers and the back separated by display fridges where all the work happens. There is Sharks and Blue Bulls stuff all over the show and during the rugby season, there is a festive vibe in the shop when there are games happening, with flags flying, jokes being told and huge big rugger bugger customers flirting with the already-used-to-it-and-immune-to-it lady staff. I get most of my fresh meat here because they will cut it exactly as you want it and also give you exactly the amount you need. If I want 500 g of lean mince, that’s exactly what I get. Tried getting that in a supermarket fridge?

But Hennies does not process their meats, so for kassler or sausages, I schlep across the city to Mozzies. And it’s like stepping into the previous century when you walk through the doors. I was approached at the counter by a man who looked just like a butcher as Dickens would have described him. Big, with hair stuck under a floppy white shower cap looking thing, blue and white striped apron over a portly midriff and a very pleasant “hello, how can I help you?”. It was very noisy, so after several attempts at trying to tell him what I wanted, with me leaning forward shouting and him leaning across the counter with his left ear cupped towards me, I finally got the message across that I wanted kassler ribs, seven of them. He showed me some in the fridge that had already been cut, but they were thin, and I wanted Christmas lunch sized ones. I asked if he could cut me seven that were about two fingers in width, I showed him my middle and index fingers together, which comes to just over an inch. He smiled and told me to wait a minute and then disappeared for about five behind a plastic curtain. He re-appeared carrying half a smoked pig and asked where I would like my chops cut from. I was awestruck! What a marvellous opportunity and privilege to be able to have bespoke kassler rib for Christmas. I chose the middle where the fillet would be, resisting my urge to be economical for the company, and taking the best for myself.

Then off he went and measured seven kasslers along the middle of the carcass, two fingers thick. But not my two fingers…his two fingers. We had enormous 1.5 inch thick kasslers. Take my advice now, that’s too much! If you end up in the same fortunate position as I did, be more specific about measurements.

The butcher took so much trouble over the service. He confirmed that I wanted the meat for Christmas day and with a little wrinkle as he turned up his nose asked if I intended freezing them until then. His disgust was ill disguised. It was the 15^th of December, so of course I was going to freeze them. He suggested, being so professional, vacuum packing them for me in which case I could keep them in the fridge. I would just have to check them everyday to see that the vacuum was intact. And so, until Christmas, the entire bottom shelf of my fridge was occupied by a large part of a smoked pig. Meat that had never seen the inside of a freezer!

Then we hunted for good pineapples to braai. To braai pineapple you need a really nice sweet and ripe one. Most of those in the shops looked less than ideal. Two days before Christmas we found one at the Housewives Market…thank the pope. So on Christmas day, dear friends, the Boys, and I, pigged out on kassler with pineapple and a delicious potato bake that my dear Kiwi friend had made.

Last night's kassler and pineapple was different. This time I bought off the shelf kassler. The kassler is browned off in our Family Frying pan (already proving it to be the worthy investment I had hoped for). Then onions are fried in the same pan, the kassler returned to the pan and a tin of pineapple pieces tossed in. The mixture is then cooked for about 6 minutes. No extra herbs, spices or seasoning required. We served the kassler and pineapple on top of chow mein. A meal scored by Boet at a good eight!