Midday
I have to admit that the thought of lentil burgers for supper tonight does not hold much appeal. I am anticipating a 2/10 dinner. I have some fish fingers in the freezer so we won’t starve on days where the set menu is questionable and the experiment fails. But I did say that I would be religious in my pursuit of following the program for the year, which means that I have to do like NIKE and just do it. I am also not averse to trying new things, even though my enthusiasm is tentative, because sometimes, occasionally, rarely and seldom, one may be pleasantly surprised. In one of the later seasons of Sex and the City, I think it is Charlotte, or maybe Miranda who is regaling her horror at some unusual couples activity and Samantha, that oracle of wisdom for all single women in their forties, replies in a cool and sophisticated tone that she should not knock it until she has tried it. So I will not knock lentil burgers…yet! Frankly if I am pleasantly surprised, this will be a cheap meal that students on tight budgets could adopt as a staple because not only is it cheap, it is very nourishing, especially is served with typical burger salad vegetables.
If I am anxious that the recipe may seem a little less than palatable, I will modify it as I see fit. Today I am anxious. For the lentils, I have bought a tin of lentils in a smokey brine. For two reasons I think that this is an improvement. Firstly, I do not have to cook the lentils for ages and secondly there is some added flavour which I think may make the final product more authentically burger flavoured. Also I am not going to go out and buy chilli paste that I am not likely to use up before it reaches its expiry date, so I am going to substitute with red curry paste. I have not been able to find pita breads yet. If I cannot find them I will use ordinary burger buns.
After the fact
Several four letter “f” words come to mind on having swallowed a lentil burger; the most appropriate one being “foul”! Others are "Flop" and "Fail".Now I really was sort of open minded about this rather shoowaah, hippie, greeny, “lets save the world by lying in front of the bulldozers” type of food. But one has to draw the line somewhere. A burger has to be tangible. I mean, you have to be able to hold it between your hands with four fingers on top and thumbs underneath and when you bite into it you should see an arc shaped gap where you have bitten into it. It should be firm, solid, HARD! But a lentil burger needs help ………!
In the end, after searching Spar and Checkers for pita breads to no avail, I settled for fresh whole wheat buns for our burgers. Son got stuck into the recipe whilst I was once again hanging out laundry and he chopped onions tearfully and continued snivelling through grating three baby marrows and bread to make the crumbs. I pureed the lentils and cleaned up behind my chef-son. We got all the ingredients together as per the recipe to make a vegetable paste, let it cool, shaped the patties and started grilling them in a non-stick pan. And they browned nicely and looked very appealing until we tried to flip them. They were flaccid, yielding masses of goo! But we were not going to give up.
We prepared the burger buns with lettuce etc and made up the burgers. We held them in front of us with thumbs below and all other 8 fingers above and bit into them. And the goo squished out everywhere. Now tomato sauce and mustard dripping out of a burger is a necessary part of the burger eating experience, but it is also necessary for the burger patty to stay in shape. Lentil burgers do not stand up to the pressure of burger eating. I can see why the recipe called for pita bread. The patties are stuffed into the pita and cannot spill out.
In all fairness though, I have to admit the flavour was not half bad. If the consistency of the mix could be changed so that the patty would hold up to the burger firmness test, this would be a winner recipe. Son gave the meal 4/10. And he will not revisit the recipe. It has been axed from his repertoire. However, if anyone can tell me what can be done to firm up the patty, I may give it another shot next year, but tonight we move on to nutty beef stirfry!
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